We were discussing a fiction book on a online book club I am a part of and I was thinking as the character in the story gives up much of her life in order to save others.
One of them was her small son whom she protects by giving him up for adoption.
My thoughts were wondering how the son would feel later in life as he realizes the reasons he was shifted around and ended up being shuttled from place to place, losing parents he thought were his parents. Does sometimes right  things that happen for your good still effect you in a negative way?
Sometimes I wonder how something that is so awful, can end up effecting us in a good way later, or is it just the way we react to it?
I was reading some bible verses yesterday and God having joy and the things that He delights in and all the verses that actually speak of God being joyful. Then i noticed the verses that spoke of him mourning or  being full of wrath over sin. i realized that we are made in the image of God. We experience joy, mourning and wrath over sin and can experience these in a way that is still holy and pleasing to God. I think that if we see sin and are not angry about it, it is just as wrong as if we were to take pleasure in it.
i was looking at the story of David and how he sinned greatly against the Lord and how even though God forgave him, he paid severe consequences, in losing his son to death, well, actually several sons to death. The infant son, Absolem and Amnon as well as having a daughter that got raped by her brother and lost her in a way as well. He paid a very high price for his sin. Forgiveness does not always mean looking the other way and not having to pay for sin. It meant God was not going to kill David  when Nathan said "God has put away your sin, you shall not die. But because you have given great occasion for the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, the child  that was born unto you shall die."
I think often we want to when we sin, to just have it be forgotten when we say we are sorry and because we said it, it means it should all go away. But as this story shows, the enemies of God blasphemed His name because of David’s sin and that is why he had to pay so highly for his sin. Also, David did not just simply say he was sorry. He was in mourning, weeping, fasting and for the rest of his days, you seem to see a different David than before.

Anyhow, alot of smattering of thoughts here….just rolling around in my head. Today is my youngest sons birthday. But yesterday would have been the fifth birthday of a friends son, who went to heaven without taking a breath when his cord broke as he was being born. You can visit her blog and read her post she wrote yesterday here

Life is precious!! I am so thankful for my little five year old as he could have not been here as when I got pregnant with him, it was not a convenient time at all. i got many comments asking me in a not so discreet way as to  why I got pregnant right then. I got more pointed comments as to why it was okay to use birth control, I always wonder why people think that is okay to say while you are pregnant! I wonder if they think I will gasp and say "Oh my, I did not know, I will make sure to get rid of this one." which would horrify most of the people who said it to me as they are pro-life…sort of, I guess. Then in the year when my son was born,  Tucker (the baby in the blog post above) and two other women I know lost their babies. One to stillbirth and another 6 weeks after she was born, that same year. All, I know, is that while everyone looking in may not have seen a reason for my son to be born,  God had a purpose and a plan for his life. He is only 5 today and acts like a typical 4-5 year old, but I wonder and pray as i think God has something to accomplish in his life.

I hope all his birthdays, i will remember the precious gift God gave us and thank Him and pray for wisdom from above! And  I also remember the other little ones his same age that are not here with us and their parents, because through their loss, God worked a big work in my heart.

This Post Has One Comment

  1. Anonymous

    i know what you mean about wondering what purpose God has for them as they grow up! and seriously… I think that's a great response – 'oh my! i never knew birth control existed! you're right! it's not like i WANTED this baby anyway! i'll go get rid of this baby!' just to see what they say! seriously!
    happy birthday to your baby! i appreciate the gift! 🙂

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