What am I talking about?
I know, it sounds crazy. A person that is completely visible, yet invisible at the same time.
Who is the person that you first think of when you need help?
Who do you turn to when you know that something has to be done?
When information is needed or things need to be gathered, there is always that person you think of.
What about when you have something personal to celebrate in your life.
Are they that person you think of? You know you can count on them for everyday needs, but when you celebrate, are they the one you invite or do you find they are not the one you usually think of?
Invisibility is a gift at times. It can be a relief for someone that get overwhelmed by too much social interaction. But at times, it is hard when you are the person everyone needs, but no one wants.
How can we change this? How can help those that are visible in our daily life, less invisible in our social life?
It is possible to be visible to all, yet lonely and invisible in so many other ways.
I was thinking about connection one day, trying to bring up ways to connect with others, who to befriend. I realized that often connection requires giving of yourself. It requires the invisible person to become more visible. Vulnerable. It is hard on both ends to connect. For those on the outside, they may think, “Oh, that person is so busy. They may not want to come to my birthday party, baby shower, tea or get together. I won’t put that on them.” The visible/invisible may think, “I am glad I was not invited, as it would be another thing on my list, and besides, I would likely not be someone that would add to the day anyhow.”
I think there has to be a balance from both sides. The visible/invisible has to allow themselves to move past the surface at times. I don’t just mean fun mom stories, or stories of messes your children made. I mean sometimes opening up and addressing the depth of the life you try to keep inside at times. Of course, that has to be done in a safe way, but opening up even a little can be scary.
Think of someone in your life, that you may not know that well that opened up a bit to you. Then think of them and how have you been able to be a friend to them?
I don’t mean a FB friend. I have many FB friends, that honestly barely know what my real life looks. But I am thankful for them, it just looks different than friendship. This doesn’t mean you need to have 567 friends. It is impossible to connect on a deep level with anyone that much. But maybe choose a few people and step out of your comfort zone a little with them. It might mean getting together for coffee, doing an activity you both enjoy together, or listening when they have had a hard day.
Think of that person you know you can turn to when times are hard for info or help. Do you know what they are going through right now? Maybe it might be time for you to take the time to listen and be there for them. What is funny, is sometimes that is how we find the best friends, when we turn around and be a friend to them.
What is one thing you can do this week to be a friend to someone?
Please leave me a comment if you think of someone when you read this post, that is visible, yet invisible. You know them, but don’t really know them. Let me know how you are going to reach out this week and let them know they are visible to you.
This Post Has 2 Comments
Wow, this was really good Martha. Thank you for putting yourself out there. I love you and can’t wait to be back.
Love you too! We miss you!