I do it all the time! I tend to look at the things I am doing and be totally happy and fine with it and then boom…someone makes a comment, gives you a look, or just is living their life and not even paying attention to you, but you are paying attention to them and there you have it, you must be doing something wrong because it is not turning out like them or other people do not like the choices you make.
<p> There is that verse in the bible about how comparing yourselves among yourselves and yourselves by yourselves is not wise and there is true wisdom in that. <p> 
I really wish I was perfect! I really do! I wish I could be like my sisters and play piano, but I am not gifted in that area at all. I wish my house was spotless and there was no unexpected messes, I wish I never got frustrated with teaching children the same lesson over and over and again, but sad to say, I mess up.
It is easy to look at other people’s lives from the outside and think how their life is perfect, but probably really if you told them that, most people would laugh. The opposite is true as well, assuming everyone must have a miserable life as well.
<p> Pretty much, to sum it up, life is what you are going to make of it. If you choose to be thankful, grateful, accepting yourself as human and go to God with your short comings, you are going to end up much happier than if you beat yourself up all the time comparing yourself to the neighbors, other people in the church or even having to live up to other people’s opinions of you.
<p> Anyhow, still I find I do not fit in well anywhere. I am different than almost everyone I know. I am different from so and so because I homeschool, another person because of the way I dress, still another because of being a christian and so on and so forth and all over there are people trying to change you and make you a different person so you "fit in" their niche! So, my decision remains the same! I am who I am, and while I do not have a problem with improving myself, I want to love others for who they are, not how they dress, look, school, or any such thing and I don’t want to make them just like me. We are pretty unique just the way we are and unless it is a sin that I need to change, I would like to stay just the same!<p>
I tend to compare myself to others, also. I've heard a minister teach on how we should be measuring ourselves against Jesus rather than other people. If we try to become more like other people we admire, we'll be imitating their faults as well. So we should aim to become more like Jesus, who has no faults.
Besides, I like who you are! You're one of those people I sometimes compare myself to and wish I were more like in different areas!
-Angie
I hope someone didn't try to change you. You are wonderful who you are, and being different than everyone else is not necessarily a bad thing! You are unique, and unique is really good. You can't be anyone but you…I'm sure people see things that you do and want to be able to do that too. I know I always wish my house was as clean as yours even on your "messy" days. As Christians we all "fit in" with Him and other believers…that's our one common ground no matter what differences we all have. Edited by pbrfans1 on Feb. 5, 2009 at 11:10 AM
Thank you for this post as it is something that we all struggle with in some way or another. I am learning to just be me and that is not only okay, but wonderful too (and God makes us who we are for a reason). For me it was always looking at all these other moms (you included) that do so much with all their children, homeschooling, groups, church, outings, cooking etc.. and then I look at my struggles with one child and feel like I am failing as a wife and mother. I still struggle with it, but have also put a lot of how I was feeling in God's hands and funny how suddenly when I let go of things the struggle gets easier ( well most of the time )
Okay I am rambling :P and I hope that even though I do not see you and we live so far apart that you know how much respect I have for what you have gone through and all you have done. It's pretty amazing if you ask me.
Jennifer
Hi Martha. I'm enjoying your blog thanks to hearing about it on facebook. Thanks! I know this is not the point of this post, but I wanted to ask you if you've heard about the kind of piano lessons my husband teaches. It is an alternative method that is truly fun. Check out http://www.simplymusic.com/. You guys might be interested in learning piano this way– your kids and even YOU.