You always know your life is going to end, but it seems with medical tests, sometimes you have to face the harsh reality that it may end sooner than you thought.

My aunt has been thinking she had ovarian cancer for a while, but we were not sure, but it is certain now. The thing is, that it was caused by  a problem gene, which may or may not have been passed down to me. We will find out in a while after  more tests are done on my mom and possibly, myself. It makes you stop and think about all your decisions you make.

I feel like maybe all the pressure I put on myself, is not as important. I want to enjoy my life. I want to spend time with my children and enjoy them, which is why I homeschool.  Anyhow, if I am going to die in ten years, what do I really want to do in my life?

What if my children end up with a mentally debilitating illness later in life?

So many what if’s and maybe’s and I just feel a little down today. i keep reminding myself that God knows from the moment I was born if   I would die at 40 or 80. He knows what will happen in my life, but I would really love to know too…..

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