I just was trying to take a short break and try to get some stuff done around the house, but I have been so tired and energyless, I do not know if it is working!
Life has been busy as usual and many things to think about, worry about and all that other fun stuff. I feel like I have been learning some big things these last couple weeks.
One thing was we have been doing a bible study book by Elizabeth George on the book of James for women of faith and the last couple have been about the tongue.
I have been really convicted as I was shocked when I examined my life how bad I fail in this area. I am not there yet, and the hardest part is not getting frustrated with the children. It is so easy for me to just lose it when they are really just being children or even when they need to be disciplined.
The other thing is learning once again to trust God with the things that are worrying me, I have been getting so anxious, stressed and stuggling with insomnia that I have considered counsoling or visiting the doctor. I don’t feel like that is always the right answer and amazingly to me, this last week, God has given me peace in some very hard situations (for me, they may seem silly to you)
I went out one morning and noticed drops of oil on the driveway. The van was leaking oil. This thing is hard for me as i need to make the decisions on how to fix the car, how to figure out what is wrong, how to pay for it and I just feel this frustration well up inside of me. It is not just the car, but then progresses to the “Why” level. “Why is Fred sick in this way?”, “Why me?” and other questions. This brings me to the disatisfation point where I get irritated and jumpy. So, I decided to after starting this cycle to pray through it. You know, the problems did not go away, they are still hard to deal with, but God is helping me do my job as a helpmeet, even though it is something I feel out of place doing often!
I spent the morning down at the car repair shop this morning with 4 boys in a small waiting room with one chair and small couch. There was another lady and her 2 children there also. I had brought snacks, books, color crayons, but time dragged on, the books were read, the snacks were eaten, they were hungry still and it was really cold outside! We made it though! The oil leak was not a major part, we found out the other issues and most of them are not major, just maintaining a car which i have not had money to do before, so I feel better. God is helping me to deal with it!
On Mon. my little sister (well, she is still little to me even though she is 20) had her first baby. She had a birth at my mom’s birth center and after long, but normal labor, she had a beautiful baby boy! It was so neat because there was my mom, and her three sisters and husband, all family helping her give birth, yet we were all qualified to do what we were doing there. It was really neat! She did so good and I am really proud of her! We were worried about blood sugar issues and those were fine! Ijust kept remembering her as this tiny little baby as she was born 6 weeks early herself and mom had a hard pregnancy with her. it is so strange that she is a grown up with a baby of her own now! it has been her dream since she was very young!
Well, I should end this long blog post and go and get back to the many chores of my day!